things — L&J creative team

Michael. Probably from Groombridge. First day back at the Lawn Bowls club and he’s absolutely raring to go! Always looking for a silver lining in any situation, and with a few of the club’s long-standing members sadly taken out by Covid 19, he’s surely the obvious choice to captain them to victory this season. #strangerstories

Michelle. Probably from Pembury. With her normal way to meet people out of action; the book club and St Andrew’s church fundraising committee, she joined the Bumble dating app. After a fruitless few weeks at the beginning of the pandemic, she finally matched with possibly her future husband! Handsome, taller than her, interested in astrology, Les Miserables, Roman monuments and with a similar dislike of mushrooms, this was a sure fire meeting of minds. The chats have been electric. Exotic even- this could be the real deal. She woke up early this morning for their first socially distanced date in the park full of hope. He’s only 90 minutes late so far but she’s still optimistic. #strangerstories

Craig, probably from New Cross. Just can’t believe how many people are taking the law into their own hands and are at the beach today- it’s still officially meant to be bloody lockdown! He’s only here because of extenuating circumstances- his missus Tina has been ill all week with a hacking cough so he just wanted a nice relaxing day by the seaside for a bit of respite. Traffic was awful on the way down and it took him near on 40 minutes to get a spot in the NCP carpark on the promenade. His eyesight’s been a bit weird actually so that didn’t help. Honestly, the British public are just ignorant. #strangerstories

John and Linda. Probably from Yorkshire. At a vulnerable age, they’ve been self-isolating in the bungalow for the past 6 weeks. Other than friends and family delivering them Tunnocks tea cakes whilst having overly-pronounced mime conversations through the window, they’ve not seen a soul. Glad To finally be out and about though as Linda’s nagging about him not closing cupboard doors properly has literally done John’s head in. #strangerstories

Maureen. Probably from Stoke. Will be mulling over that carpark argument for the rest of the day. Yes she IS aware there are government social distancing guidelines. Yes, she HAS heard of Covid-19 funnily enough. Yes she CAN take instructions actually. No she DOESN’T think she’s immune. Of COURSE she knows what 2 bloody meters looks like. No, she DOESN’T need a tape measure thank you very much. Oooooh that woman in the queue nearly got a trolly to the ankles. #strangerstories 📷 @danielfeatherstonephoto

Single Rosie, probably from Wiltshire. Thrilled about three more weeks of quarantine. That’s three more lovely weeks of no kids, no commute, no other commuters, no being late, no feeling guilty about cancelling plans, no disappointing internet dates, no having to make small talk with people at work, no ironing, no terrible Uber drivers, no wearing shoes, no holding in farts, no holiday body to prepare, no shaving, no obliged to-go-birthdays, no set mealtimes, no losing things on nights out, no hair washing unless there’s a client video call and no talking to anyone at all unless she chooses to. The true winner of lockdown, this is fucking bliss. #strangerstories

Rosie and Kate, probably friends from Edinburgh Uni. It’s now November 2020 and lockdown’s finally been lifted. After months alone in her flat messaging on Whatsapp, their highly anticipated first night out has been somewhat thwarted by Kate’s difficulty in using her actual voice-box and not just emojis. #strangerstories 📷@milseymoss

Isaak and Delores. Probably from Honour Oak. After divorcing her husband and getting her own flat 6 months ago, Delores was looking forward to the quiet life. No more flaming rows, no more sleepless nights, no more stress. Then the Covid lockdown happened and her upstairs neighbours have become her new nemesis. Over zealous Nutribullet breakfasts, dancehall workouts and screaming FaceTimes by day are complemented by shoot’em’up games, unfathomable snoring and crying children by night. Suddenly her ex-husbands mouth-breathing and lack of sex drive doesn’t seem such big a deal. #strangerstories

Harriet, probably from Banbury. She’s now been in the social distancing queue outside Boots for 45 mins waiting to pick up Simon’s prescription. Absolutely cannot fathom the amount of people still milling about in town this afternoon, despite the government’s direction. Earlier, the M&S foodhall was heaving- and let’s just say... what some people class as ‘essential’ items leaves a lot to be desired. A lady passed her in the carpark who’s clearly stockpiling wrapping paper! The man in line behind her has been dry-coughing this whole time and she’s now just trying to work out if her husband could actually just cope without his beta blockers. #strangerstories 📷 @danielfeatherstonephoto

Jennifer. Probably from Hampstead. Had to get out the house for a bit whilst the kids did Joe Wicks. Has spent 2 solid weeks trying to homeschool Polly and Michael whilst working from home at the same time. Let’s just say it has not gone well. Maths has totally changed, early years phonics is fucking nauseating and she never quite realised just how thick Polly is. The nanny selfishly wanted to isolate with her ‘own family’ so she’s had no choice but to attempt it herself. She would never have had kids if she knew she was going to have to see them so much. She’s just going to sit here quietly for a while till she feels a bit more human again. #strangerstories 📷@bokita